Running Time: 1 hour, 34 minutes
Rating: PG
Director: Brad Peyton
Quick Impressions:
As the end credits rolled, I heard my nine-year-old stepson breathe, “Awesome.” Then he leaned over to me and declared enthusiastically, “You’re going to have one heck of a review to write! That was the best movie I’ve ever seen!”
Yes, if you’re a nine-year-old boy, The Mysterious Island is the best movie ever. If you’re a three-year-old girl, however, the movie needs far more miniature elephants who were so briefly “so cute.” (Basically, to hold my daughter’s attention, the movie should have been entirely shots of miniature elephants.) On the bright side, if you have a young child who refuses to wear 3D glasses, this is a great film for potty training. My daughter wanted to go about every ten seconds. Meanwhile, her brother was mesmerized.
Basically, The Mysterious Island is a movie for children. I think the preview makes that abundantly clear. (Most TV spots I’ve seen feature Luis Guzmán riding a big bumblebee when suddenly an even bigger bird poops on him. If after a preview like that, you go expecting to see the front runner for Best Picture or even Jurassic Park, you’ve let the movie down, not vice-versa.)
Why do so many critics slam kids’ movies as if they’re meant for adults?
The film’s official title is Journey 2: The Mysterious Island because it’s technically the sequel to Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008). If you haven’t seen the first movie, don’t let that keep you from going. I don’t think the writers of Journey 2 have seen it, either. And my stepson, who thinks Mysterious Island is “the best movie ever” also thinks that it’s the sequel to Race to Witch Mountain. (He’s seen Journey 1, but in his defense, it’s very forgettable.) The only returning cast member is Josh Hutcherson. (His erstwhile uncle, Brendan Frasier, is presumably still hanging around in Iceland somewhere unmentioned and better forgotten.) The older and significantly more ripped Hutcherson reprises his role of Sean Anderson and is joined this time around by Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, Michael Caine, Luis Guzmán, Vanessa Hudgens, and ever-so-briefly Kristin Davis.
The Good:
We saw this movie in a packed house, and it drew laughter, gasps, and cheers almost constantly. Kids seemed to connect with it right away and find it consistently entertaining and hilarious. Even I laughed several times and even cried once (but you should know, I cry easily).
(Sometimes I even cry during the previews—“NO!!! NOT JOHN CARTER AGAIN! Please, God, let this movie come out soon so we stop seeing previews for it!”)
Luis Guzmán’s helicopter pilot character, Gabato, is essentially just there as comic relief (though he is the one who made me cry during a tender moment), and adults may tire of his silly theatrics, but kids never will. To be honest, as long as you’re willing to give the movie a chance and accept it on its own terms, more often than not, Guzmán is funny. The jokes that fail are forgivable since others make you laugh out loud.
For kids and for adults who understand that the movie is just silly good fun, The Mysterious Island is very funny. Some of the funniest parts are random moments that do nothing to advance the story and don’t even quite make sense—i.e., “The Pec Pop of Love.” Why on earth would a stepfather so desperate to bond with his stepson that he agrees to go with him on an insane quest so adamantly push such loony advice? Who cares! Everyone in the theater laughed out loud for the original joke and the callback.
The movie has stunning visuals and uses 3D to create a fantastical island sure to engage kids who long for adventure. Even my daughter, who wouldn’t wear her glasses, very loudly rhapsodized about the adorable, miniature elephants. These along with the enormous eggs, the terrible lizards, the gigantic bumble bees, the volcano of gold, and other surprises make the movie visually rich and exciting.
The plot explodes into action immediately. The movie is consistently fast-paced and thrilling. Something is always happening, and even if what happens never seems remotely realistic, the action does advance the fantastical plot.
Some young fans of the movie may even get the idea to read The Mysterious Island, Treasure Island, Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, or Gulliver’s Travels. If they expect these books to be like the movie tonally, they’ll probably get bored and put them down very quickly, but there’s always hope, especially for Treasure Island.
Best Scene, Visually:
The entire island is gorgeous, lush, and exactly the sort of imaginative landscape that should appeal to the nine-year-old adventurer in all of us. I’ve mentioned the bee scene before, but that does provide some of the most thrilling visuals. I also really liked the look of the inside of the Nautilus. 3D, CGI, and expensive sets aside, the way they combined the three island maps also looked really cool.
Best Surprise:
I liked the ending. I’m hoping it hints at a sequel, again starring Josh Hutcherson and nobody else. As an adult, Sean Anderson will go to the next Jules Verne hot spot where he’ll find his step-father’s long lost dad living with his young ward, a love interest for Hutcherson played by a trendy actress who hasn’t been born yet.
Funniest Moment:
My stepson says, “Pec Pop of Love.” I concur.
Worst Use of Someone Famous:
This time around Kristin Davis plays Josh Hutcherson’s mom. (She’s played by Jane Wheeler in the previous film.) Davis is in the movie just long enough to have her scene entirely missed by someone who has taken a young child to the bathroom the moment she appears. I can only assume that the scene I missed went something like this:
The Rock: I know your son just led the cops on a high speed chase, but I want him to think I’m the coolest stepdad ever, so I helped him to decipher a coded message from a lunatic, and now I’m taking him on a journey to a mysterious, uncharted island that no one has come back from alive. He’ll miss some school.
The Mom: Don’t go. You know the doctor told you to take it easy when he discharged you from the mental hospital yesterday.
The Rock: (Does the Pec Pop of Love)
The Mom: Okay, have fun. I’ll be played by somebody else on Sean’s next adventure!
If you’re a Kristin Davis fan, take note. She does show up again briefly at the very end of the movie.
The Negatives:
Don’t try to pretend the movie is realistic, or that the characters actions and words will always match their motivations, or that their motivations make sense. The moment Michael Caine’s Alexander shows up feels a little off to me. His early interactions with the Rock’s Hank seem a bit forced. In a way, the two performers are kind of like Marilyn Monroe and Sir Lawrence Olivier—they have different acting styles that don’t always mesh well. Michael Caine’s style is called acting, and the Rock’s style is called acting like the Rock.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Dwayne Johnson. He has fantastic screen presence and wonderful energy. He’s always a pleasure to watch. Plus, he’s a charismatic guy and easily able to carry this type of movie. I just thought some of his rivalry with Alexander seemed forced and awkward, though both men do a commendable job of not noticing how silly the entire situation is. The script is really ridiculous, but to their credit, they both play it straight.
By the Way:
If you’re a fan of Vanessa Hudgens, she’s also in the movie. If you hate her, be warned. If you don’t know who she is, it doesn’t matter. She gives a perfectly respectable performance as the only girl on the adventure.
One Last Thing:
This movie opens with a new Daffy Duck cartoon. We’ve been watching a lot of Looney Tunes at home lately, and I’ve been wishing more movies these days opened with cartoons. Still, I thought this particular Daffy Duck outing was disappointingly bland. I didn’t hear anyone around me laughing. But when it was over, my daughter said excitedly, “That cartoon was great! Are there any more cartoons coming next?”
Overall:
I’ve been a fan of Josh Hutcherson since the beginning of his career. I even liked Firehouse Dog entirely because of his performance, and he’s good in this, too. If you have kids who wear 3D glasses and like a fast-paced adventure with lots of comedy and giant bumblebees, go see The Mysterious Island. My stepson thinks it’s the “best movie ever,” and other kids around his age will likely agree.