The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2D)

Runtime: 2 hours, 24 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Director: Peter Jackson

Quick Impressions:
This movie was way better than I expected.

Of course, I went in with low expectations.  I’ve liked all of Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth movies so far, but I can’t deny that overall The Lord of the Rings is a far stronger cinematic trilogy than The Hobbit.  But of course, that’s because the source material is more suited to such an adaptation.  The Hobbit was never meant to be an epic trilogy like The Lord of the Rings.  It’s a very different kind of story and really didn’t need such a sweeping big screen treatment.

Nevertheless, I like what Jackson has done with it.  I mean, what fan of The Lord of the Rings doesn’t want to see Cate Blanchett, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, and other old favorites like this back in action?  (In fact, what the wizard and the elves are doing is infinitely more interesting than anything that happens in the actual plot of The Hobbit—except maybe the “Riddles in the Dark” chapter because who doesn’t love Gollum?)  Jackson’s version is not necessarily the best adaptation of The Hobbit.  (There’s a stage play often performed by children that’s actually pretty great.)  But the movie that Jackson has made is still a wildly interesting peek into what’s going on as Sauron rises to power again in Middle Earth.

Anyway, we planned to see The Hobbit the week of Christmas but ended up making emergency trips to the doctor every single day (except, of course, the 25th) instead.  What a festive holiday!  (I’ve been so stressed out this Christmas!  Even now I keep thinking of that quote from The Naked Gun, “Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.”  Surprise, surprise!  Going to see a movie turned out to be more fun and relaxing than having a bunch of panic attacks and being pointedly told that everything that happens is completely out of my control.  Who could have predicted that?)

Now I’ve read The Hobbit several times, but I’ll confess it’s been a while.  Here’s what I remember about the part of the book covered in this film—nothing.  Well, I mean, I remember Smaug’s defeat.  And then Thorin turns into a big jerk, and Bilbo is puzzled and disillusioned, and everybody has a fight, but Bilbo isn’t even that involved in the action as I recall.  It seems like in the book, the whole battle takes place in about five seconds while Bilbo is unconscious.  Then Bilbo goes home and finds a scene much like what he encounters at the end of this film.  It’s really hard to believe that someone could stretch these events into a two-and-a-half-hour movie, but if anybody can do it, it’s Peter Jackson.  I joked to my mother, “And I thought he stretched the ending of The Return of the King.  He’s really milking this one.  He’s managed to make an entire movie out of just two words—The End.”

It’s a good movie, though.  It’s fast-paced and engaging throughout, thoroughly entertaining.  And honestly it seems shorter than all of Jackson’s other movies (possibly because it actually is.  I’ll have to double-check that).  It’s twenty minutes longer than Into the Woods, but it feels much shorter.  The movie is very engaging, and even as someone who isn’t always thrilled by long action scenes, I found the entire thing winningly entertaining.

The Good:
The whole time I was watching this movie, I kept thinking, Man, I wish I could ride around on a reindeer, casting aspersions and withering glances in my wake!  (I really did think it in those words, too.  I’m a little weird.)

Lee Pace’s performance as Thranduil is without question my favorite part of these Hobbit movies.  I’ve always liked Lee Pace (whom I first noticed in the doomed Wonderfalls), but I’ve never found him particularly captivating until I saw him as the creepy king of the woodland elves.  Gosh he’s great!  I love him!  (And he’s much scarier as Thranduil than he is as Ronan in Guardians of the Galaxy.)  (What’s really scary, of course, is that he’s my age, two years younger than his “son” Legolas.  What’s scary about that is what they’ve done to Orlando Bloom’s face to achieve that effect.  It looks like they caked wax onto his cheeks with a palette knife!)

Out in the parking lot after the movie, my mom echoed my sentiment about that awesome reindeer.  I discovered online, however, that Thranduil is actually supposed to be riding an elk, and the part is actually played by a horse in a funny disguise.  Still he knows how to make an entrance; that’s for sure!

Martin Freeman is also (once again) very good as Bilbo.  In general, I prefer The Lord of the Rings to The Hobbit, but I will say that as far as hobbit protagonists are concerned, Bilbo is approximately ninety thousand times more interesting than Frodo (who barely has any personality at all).  (I’m not blaming Elijah Wood.  I’m talking about the characters as written.)  Bilbo is wonderfully flawed and terribly charming, and Freeman plays him impeccably.

Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance as Smaug is another highlight (even though he doesn’t have much screentime in this one—obviously).  Cumberbatch also voices Sauron, and though that moment is brief, I really do love the way these films present the eye of Sauron.  What they do with that is very cool.

Luke Evans is very strong as Bard, which is good because somebody’s got to be.

Richard Armitage is good as Thorin, too, although his part in this one becomes a bit depressing and is sometimes unpleasant to watch.  Ken Stott also has some nice moments as Balin.  And I was also pleased as surprised to see Billy Connolly turn up (surprised mainly because I wasn’t sure why I know who Billy Connolly is, but as it turns out, I do, and I was delighted to see him).

Best Action Sequence:
The fight choreography in this is thrilling to watch (and this is coming from someone who usually checks out during action scenes).  The last big battle sequence of the movie (up in the frosty north) is absolutely the most exciting, viscerally appealing part of the entire film.

What happens to Legolas—taking him by unpleasant surprise—is almost like an in-joke for the faithful audience.  We almost laugh in shock.  We can’t believe it.  (This has certainly never happened to Legolas before!  We didn’t know it was possible!  In fact, previous installments have been eye-rollingly criticized on this very point.)  The scene of him scrambling to save someone (using less than ideal means) before it’s too late is one of the most energetic, engaging scenes of the entire film.

Thorin’s final battle with Azog (occasionally overlapping with the Legolas sequence) is pretty great, too.  My daughter particularly liked the way Thorin turned Azog’s big rock and chain to his own advantage.  “Oooh!  That was a smart way to do it!” she breathed appreciatively.

Best Scene Visually:
An early highlight of the movie for me was the moment that Smaug fell—specifically where he fell.  What made this so great was my six-year-old’s reaction.  Some of the early moments with the dragon had frightened her (even though she’s really into the dragon, so don’t let her theatrics fool you).  So I was thinking to myself, I hope the brutality of this doesn’t scare her. 

To my surprise, when she saw what had happened, she turned to me in delight, nose scrunched, mouth open wide, with this look plastered all over her face like, Isn’t this the most awesome thing that could ever have happened!

I also enjoyed the look of the moment when Bard speaks to Thorin through the hole in the wall.  The depth in that scene is impressive (particularly given that we saw it in 2D).

Best Scene:
The first scene that I found truly captivating in this film is the moment of Gandalf’s rescue.  I just love all the characters assembled, and it’s very cool that we get to see the Eye of Sauron and the use of Galadriel’s power.

The Negatives:
Why doesn’t this movie contain a scene of Saruman going over to Sauron’s side?  A scene The Battle of the Five Armies does include definitely tantalizes the audience with the hope that such a juicy scene will probably be coming up soon.  We should get to see that scene.  (Seriously the unexpected hope of seeing that scene really woke me up and drew me into the movie.  Why didn’t we ever go back to Christopher Lee?)

Peter Jackson almost always releases a director’s cut that adds considerable runtime to each of his films, so I’ve got my fingers crossed that we’re going to see a lot more of Christopher Lee on the Blu-ray.  (By the way, did you know that Christopher Lee is ninety-two years old!  Good grief, he’s looking spry for his advanced years!  I hope he lives to see his eleventy-first birthday.  What a marvelous actor!  Such charisma!  Such presence!)

I also think Tauriel and Kili are short-changed a little by this film.  Their love story is kind of shoe-horned in there, anyway.  I have no objections to Evangeline Lilly’s portrayal of Tauriel.  (She’s lovely.  Well, so is Aidan Turner, for that matter.  What beautiful people!)  But I just felt like much of her storyline seemed anticlimactic and predictable.

The main problem with this movie is that the entire thing feels largely superfluous.  (Did we really need an entire movie to cover the battle of the five armies?  Really?)  But if you’re a fan of Tolkien (or even just a fan of Peter Jackson), the movie is still incredibly interesting, engaging, and entertaining to watch.

Overall:
I don’t think I’ve mentioned this anywhere else yet, so I will go ahead and emphasize in conclusion that I love Ian McKellen, and Gandalf is my favorite Tolkien character (with Gollum a close second).  It’s great to see all the familiar faces there (and back again) in this final installment of The Hobbit.  (I think it’s even rather commendable that Legolas gets a complete storyline that actually makes sense when he isn’t even mentioned in the book.)  The acting is uniformly excellent, the scenery is beautiful, the battles are well choreographed, and the movie moves at a surprisingly brisk pace with plenty of fun and a ton of energy.

We all enjoyed this movie (including my parents and my children), and if you’re a fan of Peter Jackson’s other Middle Earth films, then I’m sure you’ll like this one, too.

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