Running Time: 1 hour, 51 minutes
Rating: R
Director: Lynne Ramsay
Quick Impressions:
As we left the theater, my husband said, “I think they needed to do more than talk about Kevin.” My own impression of the film found fault with a different aspect of the title. Memo to Tilda Swinton’s character: “We need to talk.” Period. That’s patronizing advice. We, as human beings, need to talk in order to communicate to other people what we are feeling, thinking, and experiencing. If we don’t tell them, they won’t know.
This movie is about a mother who realizes that something is deeply wrong with her son. Well, maybe a better way to put it is that she wishes that she would have acted on her early realizations that something was deeply wrong with her son before tragedy struck. Now it’s too late.
Even though her character drove me almost as crazy as Kevin, Tilda Swinton gives a wonderful performance, and so does teen actor Ezra Miller. We Need to Talk About Kevin takes a close, artistically filtered, and refreshingly non-glamorizing look at how sociopathy affects family members. Though it’s by no stretch of the imagination fun to watch, I enjoyed the film. And it sticks with you (perhaps unfortunately).
A word of warning, though. If in the past, you’ve participated in any sort of reprogramming experiment and now go into a hypnotic trance every time you see the color red, it’s probably best you avoid We Need to Talk About Kevin. The film opens with a gleefully orgiastic tomato fight. (You know the kind, the ones you always used to participate in with thousands of other single, carefree types before you had children?) Then we get red paint, red food, red ink, red wine, and, of course, lots of red blooded Americans’ red, red blood. So all you sleepers out there, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The Good:
The visuals in the movie are stark and stunning and really stick with you. That’s a good thing because the verbal descriptors are few and far between. This film is all about the image, the memory, the internal torment that you find yourself unable to voice.
Tilda Swinton’s character (named Eva Khatchadourian, though she’s rarely called by name) bothered me more than Kevin to be honest. In the present-time scenes, we see increasing evidence that Eva feels both guilty and responsible for what her son has done. She seems to find a kind of purgation in sticking around and enduring the cruel treatment of others (which, I must say, is quite baffling when we finally learn that her own personal sufferings are at the very least equal to theirs).
The plot always advances, moving forward in both the present-time scenes and the intercalary flashbacks, but you can’t call the plot exactly linear since it’s folded over on itself. The present is always interrupted by flashbacks of Kevin, and before they can tell too much of Eva’s history, the flashbacks are always interrupted by random scenes from the present. For that reason, we’re not completely sure what happened in the past to bring Eva to her present circumstances until the very end of the film.
If you’ve watched the preview or heard anything about the movie, you suspect going in that Eva’s son Kevin is a sociopath (or something of that nature). Even going in cold, it doesn’t take long to realize that something is wrong with Kevin, something fairly serious, and something too directed and malicious to be autism or schizophrenia (in all likelihood).
My husband has a different take on this, but I would swear that there’s something wrong with Eva, too. At the very least, something is kind of off. Even before Kevin is born, she always looks miserable and tortured. My husband suggested, “Maybe she was having a difficult pregnancy. Maybe she seemed miserable around those other women because she likes to be alone or she’s uncomfortable about her body.” Maybe. But something seemed wrong with her, and blaming the unborn Kevin seems a little theatrical. This is a realistic art film about a disturbed boy, not The Omen. Kevin may be disturbed (and disturbing), but he’s not the anti-Christ. I found myself wondering if her hormone levels were off, or if she suffered from depression during pregnancy that became postpartum depression and prevented her from bonding with the baby.
Even if my husband is right and Eva’s personality is simply different from my own, I still think that her own behavior holds some important answers about what’s wrong with Kevin. If the boy is a sociopath and unable to empathize, he probably learns to interact with others by mirroring their behavior (like an actor giving a performance). His dad constantly smiles at him and babbles to him excitedly, and that’s exactly how Kevin behaves back. Eva, on the other hand, stares and frowns at him all day. He’s probably desperate for social behaviors to mimic since he doesn’t understand the interiority of other people, and his mother doesn’t give him any clues. No wonder he’s hostile. They’re caught in a never-ending cycle of silent hostility.
I’m not saying that Eva is at fault for what happens with Kevin. After all, Dad is just a way-emotive, super nice pal, and we can see how that works out for him. Kevin is seriously disturbed, and I am definitely not suggesting that it’s his mother’s fault. And I’m not saying that she should feel as guilty as she does for not preventing what happened, either. But I am, frankly, amazed that she let things go as long as she did. If I had been in her shoes, the movie would have been titled We Need to Talk About Kevin’s Mother. Kevin’s full potential for insanity would never have been known, having been eclipsed by his mother’s murderous rampage against the son who continually treated her with disdain and the husband who patronized and ignored her.
How could she live that way for so long? I understand that this was set in the past when less information about certain disorders was readily available. And I understand that the pediatrician was initially unhelpful. But you can bet that I would not have put up with that kind of treatment from my husband (played well but maddeningly by John C. Reilly). Usually in homes where someone is abusive (though it usually isn’t the child), somebody has an extreme case of denial, but this guy really takes the cake. She’s an educated woman who has traveled and has a career. Why in the world does she let her husband patronize and ignore her like that? If he doesn’t believe you the first time, tell him again. If he doesn’t believe you again, find a way to show him. If he won’t see, leave. Leave him with Kevin. Maybe he’ll see better.
It takes her far too long to reach this point. It’s simply ridiculous! I’m not saying I would have done the right thing, but she doesn’t even do the wrong thing. She does nothing! Well, she does one thing. Even Kevin remembers that.
See the movie, and then ponder this question. When Kevin finally learns to use the potty, and her husband asks how she did it, why doesn’t she immediately tell him the truth? Yes, I realize she’s ashamed and guilty, but it reveals far more about Kevin than it does about her. Why doesn’t she tell him then?
But you see, that’s the brilliance of the movie. (All of this is under “the good” instead of “negatives” because I do think it’s well done.) As she passes out on her lonely little bed in her present-time sea of wine, pills, and guilt, Eva is surely asking herself the same thing. I’m sure that’s why we see the moment at all. The flashbacks are carefully chosen. I’m sure she’s wondering, Why didn’t I tell him then? Or I knew then and then and then and then. Why didn’t I make someone understand? Why didn’t I do something? Anything? Is it because I’m a coward? Is it because I wanted him to love me? Is it because I didn’t want to believe it myself?
I’m an extremely emotional, empathetic, imaginative, verbal, demonstrative, anxiety-ridden person, so I’m pretty able to figure out what’s probably going through her mind when she displays such torment on the screen. (Being privy to her flashbacks certainly helps. That’s an advantage Kevin never got.) I’m sure that to a sociopath, her behavior would be mystifying. The only emotion or idea she consistently expresses is pain. That may be why Kevin chooses her as the one he most often hurts. Or maybe not. Who knows?
It’s a brilliant performance by Tilda Swinton who tackles an amazingly difficult character, one who seems almost pathologically unable to articulate her emotions to others, even though she feels them very deeply herself (probably unlike her son).
She deserved an Academy Award nomination, but so did the five women nominated, even Rooney Mara (who some say stole her spot). Ezra Miller is pretty amazing as Kevin, too. Why wasn’t there a spot for him? Best Supporting Actor is a strange, strange category this year. I’m not in the film industry, so I try to respect the Academy’s decisions, but in quite a few cases this year, I feel like the Academy voters are Eva, and I’m Kevin. What oh what were they thinking as they cast their ballots for those 2012 nominations? I’ll never understand.
Funniest Moment:
There’s no comic relief in this film, no relief of any kind, but there is a relatively amusing moment when some missionaries come to the door.
Best Surprise:
I was so relieved that we didn’t have to witness some of Kevin’s more terrible crimes as they happened. As soon as I got a look at one character’s face in an early scene, I thought with a sick feeling of dread, Oh no. But the movie didn’t torture me as much as I feared.
Best Scene:
Because Tilda Swinton and Ezra Miller give the best performances, their scenes together are collectively the best in the movie. I love the mother-son date she takes him on. We finally get some insight into how he sees her (or at least how he wants her to believe that he sees her). Despite the horrifically difficult moments she remembers from his childhood, these two do have a relationship. The final scene—her question, his answer, their subsequent behavior—how provocative (intellectually)!
The Negatives:
Since the movie focuses on Eva, we never really know for sure just exactly what is wrong with Kevin. We think he’s a sociopath (which diagnostically would probably mean he has antisocial personality disorder). But we’re not sure, and we’re never given any information or answers about his condition or motives. That’s not necessarily a negative. Providing a diagnosis for Kevin is not a goal for the movie, which wants to explore the suffering and confusion of his mother and does so quite successfully. Still the mystery of Kevin’s behavior may frustrate some viewers. The film does a poor job of educating people about mental illness (though, for God’s sake, if you suspect your child has a psychiatric issue don’t go to a movie looking for answers!!).
A bigger problem is that the behavior of the people in the town was atrocious and almost unrealistic. Why has this woman become such a huge pariah? She’s suffered as much as they have. I think it’s human nature to become absorbed in your own personal tragedies, and suffering brings out some ugly behaviors, but still. On the one hand, I think, The fault must be partially with her. She’s doing something to provoke their rancor. It’s the way she’s responding, just taking it all, not making it clear how hurtful their behavior is. Maybe that’s the reason Kevin enjoys tormenting her, too. Was she abused as a child? And then I think, Maybe some people treat her well, but she’s just focusing on the negative, just as she’s focusing on negative memories of Kevin in her flashbacks. Maybe there’s a huge problem with her perception.
Honestly, though, I think that the movie goes a bit too far showing her persecution by the town. It doesn’t seem quite realistic, and it’s distracting.
The only other complaint that I have is that the movie feels long and painful. (I’m sure that’s intentional, though, and I’m not sure it isn’t the right choice.)
Overall:
We Need to Talk About Kevin is basically a movie about the mother of a sociopath, but it’s an art film. Don’t go expecting a slick, Hollywood horror thriller. It isn’t scary (in that way). It isn’t thrilling. It’s almost never funny. And it certainly isn’t for children. But it is a well made film featuring two incredible performances. Surely if you’ve read this review, you can tell if Kevin is or is not your cinematic cup of tea.